Real Life

I have been in the thick of real life the past few weeks and haven't taken more than a few pictures to document this final month of 2012. December has flown by me faster than any other month this year. And that's saying something because it's been quite a year around here.

I haven't publicly written about life on my blog though most (all?) everyone I know and love has been with me along the way. Life became very hard for me starting in February and in May, Milo and I separated. It was so, so hard. There is no way to explain the heartbreak and how sad I felt in one blog post. I lived daily life as a single mom with 5 young kids for seven months. Every single day was hard. I had a broken heart, a heavy load and many demands placed upon my shoulders. I didn't know if my marriage would end in divorce, the one thing I never wanted to put my family through. It was the most painful thing I've ever been asked to go through. Yet at the same time, I felt more love from my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ than I ever had before. I felt sustained and lifted and once I looked for tender mercies in my life, I found them. Many of them too personal to share here but I have a strong testimony that tender mercies are waiting to be found.  The Lord is so merciful in our times of trial. He knows who we are, just what we need and when we need it. Those simple truths became a lifeline for me. I hope to never forget how even in the darkest days, I knew I was never alone.

For the past couple months Milo and I have been taking steps (however small they were) to save our family and get back together. It was a slow road. It was also a road onto which the adversary threw many road blocks. Thankfully with much guidance and counsel, Milo moved home two weeks ago. I am so grateful for the love we share and the love we both feel from our Heavenly Father. We both know we are starting what will be a long road. But, I know the Lord wont take the tender mercies away from me or from Milo or from our sweet kids (Who are amazing by the way. They have been so solid through this whole trial. Their strength is and has been inspiring). The same simple truths that sustained me the last seven months are sure to still be there as we work to become stronger together. I know He knows me and loves me no matter what. I know He knows and loves Milo just the same. He knows what we need and when we need it.

I am humbled by my blessings and my trials. As hard as it's been, I'm grateful for this year as well. I've been stretched and I've grown closer to my Heavenly Father. I've felt my Savior's love. I'm so grateful for the gift of hope He has given me. I'm grateful for the saying I've been told by a few different people- The scriptures say, 'and it came to pass' not 'and it came to stay'. So it is with this trial and time in my life (our lives), I (we) get through it one day at a time. I am so grateful for such a blessing in my life.