Now that I have calmed down a bit, I'll try to explain my dilemma. I was sustained (like I said before, without knowing) to be co-chair of activities with a woman that I have worked with before. I know, I know activities should be no big deal, laid back but our Bishop has a tendency to over manage most areas of the ward. We get told what to have, when to have it, etc, etc. I worked in the YW presidency with this woman for 18 months. It was so hard. She would worry about the girls that would talk loud but ignore the ones that were dating at 14-15 (one was dating her son). She would be so random too, always interupting us about a movie or her brother. What is that all about? Who knows!! I know this is going to sound so harsh but she is just so misguided. On Sunday when we would announce our weekly class activities she would say, 'Laurels, I have no idea what we are doing so just show up.' She lost so much participation from them and to me that is a crucial year. Another thing, we would have presidency meetings, and she would not show up. Usually that was every other month, no call or anything. Again, so frustrating! She works full time and that is her excuse for everything. She wont be able to help set up or attend the beginning of any activities. The thing that frustrates me the most is I feel like she thinks I don't 'work'. I do work, I have 3 little kids with me all the time, I cut hair out of my house at the same time and Milo is usually sleeping during the day (he works graveyard) and going to school in the evenings so he is not around a majority of the time. The 1st counselor asked me if I would be able to let her 'fail' on her end. No, in fact, I would not be able to just walk away with only 1/2 of the activity planned and executed. Now you are probably asking what about the rest of the committee. Well, my ward is a little unique and there is no one to have on the committee that would not have to be babysat. You know the type, 'Were you able to do this, Were you able to talk to so and so?' The counselor even told me that today when I was talking to him. He told me there was a list of people that needed callings but they could not find places to put them because they don't follow through with anything. That is not who I want to help.
I guess part of me is so stressed about working with her because she seems like she is always in the clouds. Literally. She has illnesses (who knows to what extent and if they are real) a lot that she openly takes heavy medication for and I just do not want to go down this road again. I have so many questions. Am I over reacting, do I go against my gut and suck it up and work with her? I swear to you I have never been the person to have problems with others. That reason alone is probably why I will end up working with her. I'll just do it. Ugh, just thinking about it...
Have you been in shoes like this before?
Did prayer get you through?
Could you let her fail with her part, leaving the activity 1/2 done?
Would you suck it up (like I'll probably do) or would you talk to the Bishop about it?
OK, I swear for now I am done venting! Thanks, it helped to get it all down here. I'm starting to love the feeling of 'writing' in a journal again. It has been many years since I have been consistent with keeping one.
3 comments:
Wow, what a major dilemma! I really honestly can't say what I would do. But probably I would like you just do it. However, if this is going to cause major stress on your part and be physically and emotionally draining, than I would not do it. I think that is so hard to be in a position where you feel like no one will do their assignments. I can't even imagine why people behave that way. The only thing I can think of to suggest, is to really pray about it yourself, and ask your Bishop if they really prayed about it and absolutely know that you are needed in this calling. Good luck, this is a tough situation!
P.S. That cake is darling, I wanted to make that same cake for my daughter's b-day, and decorate cute little denim bags as a craft for the party, but she didn't want to. Oh well! Maybe the next one. :)
I'm so sorry you're faced with the problem, it sounds rough. I wouldn't be able to let her fail either and would end up doing everything myself. Why are the people in your ward so flakey? That's got to be very frustrating. Hopefully you won't have to deal with her very often (the way you did when you were in YW). I would tough it out, but that doesn't mean I'd be happy doing it.
Yikes. I know I would end up doing it all myself. I couldn't let things go undone. But I would not be happy about it one bit. I hope you can find someone reliable to help you out!
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