On This Day

 April 20th. April 20, 2000 to be exact. It's a day I've blogged about for the past six years, my wedding day. I decided a few weeks ago, I'd blog about it this year too. Today is/was my 13th wedding anniversary. How exactly do I describe this day? I also decided I wasn't going to mope around and feel sad even if it would've been the easiest route to take (trust me it would have been quite easy). I knew I'd need to stay busy and I knew I'd need to stay away from my wedding pictures. One reason I didn't link all the past years in this post, pictures still get me down. I feel so much loss when I look at them and I mourn and cry. No good, not today. Today was about celebrating my family. Celebrating the day my family started 13 years ago. It was a day I wanted to be all about my family.

 I planned to hike Badger Mountain this morning a few weeks ago too. I wanted to exert myself and I wanted to feel strong. It's not that big of a hike but I wanted to conquer something. Nathan was at a camp out and we uninvited Owen for the hike (he napped at my mom's) so we were down a couple kids as we hiked up the mountain. I invited my friend and four of her kids came along too. Three of those kids match up to the three I had with me so it was perfect. We hiked up in record time and had perfect weather. I never felt sad and no tears. First success of the day.

 My dad called this morning, he was in town and wanted to take us to lunch. I planned on taking the kids out to eat anyway so this was a great surprise. We finished our hike, ran back home to change clothes, grabbed Owen at my mom's and met my dad already seated at Red Robin. The kids were hungry and tired from hiking so we had great behavior and really good eating. Bonus! Papa ordered onion rings and chicken wings (their request) on top of their lunches so they were stuffed when we left. Owen squealed a few times for good measure so we knew when it was time to leave. It was fun to visit and we had a couple laughs at our own expense too. My dad likes to laugh and so do I. Second success of the day.

We came home from Red Robin and did a few chores. I sat on my neighbor's porch and chatted with her for awhile. The kids played inside and outside for a bit. A friend came over to plant a couple tomato plants they had left over and ended up pulling weeds and sprucing up my yard. A couple times I thought I'd rather be sitting inside but reminded myself that if I were, I'd probably be sad. So I pushed on, pulled more weeds (dang overgrown grass, it's hard to pull) and enjoyed talking with some great friends. Pulling weeds with friends was a tender mercy today, who would've thought? After they left it was time to go get Nathan and have the whole family together for our family day.

The kids were winding down, tired and a bit grouchy. I was winding down, tired and a bit more grouchy. After hearing about the hike and Red Robin, Nathan was feeling a little left out. So close to the little boys bedtime, I loaded them up without jackets (really dumb) and we went for an ice cream treat at the park. Don't let this picture fool you. Everyone was crying/whining because it was so cold outside and no one wanted to take this picture except me. The blizzards were scarfed down, they willingly jumped back in the van after 10 minutes and I put the heater on full blast to help warm up Reed's 'freezing piggies'. Even with the cold and the tears, third success of the day.

I challenged them to sing songs with the word family in it on the short drive home. They started with When We're Helping We're Happy. Next Dane suggested we sing the Barney song, I Love You, You Love Me. That produced a few groans (Nathan and Kathryn) but we sang it anyway. When we were close to home, they started singing Families Can Be Together Forever. I sang the first verse with them and when we were almost finished with the second verse, I couldn't hold it in any longer. The feelings and emotions from today spilled out my eyes and I cried the last stretch home. I love that Milo and I were married in the Seattle temple on this day 13 years ago (someday I'll be able to look at the pictures again). I'm grateful that even though my marriage is ending, the kids and I will not have that eternal sealing taken from us. We are a forever family. It comforts me to know I can have my favorite people with me for eternity. I have faults and shortcomings and much work here to do on the earth but the promise of being with them forever will urge me forward. I am so grateful for that promise of forever.

Kids,
What a great day we had together. Happy Anniversary to our family- we make a wonderful team. I love each one of you always and forever.
Love, Mom.