Thoughts

My haircut never showed up, my house is still (relatively) clean, Owen is napping and every time I sit to read my homework, my eyelids suddenly weigh 10 lbs. I could easily take a nap but decided instead to purge some thoughts.

::: I talked in church on Sunday. I didn't really start preparing until a few days before even though I was asked a couple weeks ago. I was nervous. The last time I talked in church I was married. I had no plans to discuss my divorce from the pulpit but I felt more 'out there' with all the new people in my ward. Does that make sense? Anyway, I was given the topic- How can I learn to see Heavenly Father's hand in my life daily? I had two goals-  to give a decent talk and to not cry the whole way through. I felt good when it was over. People were very kind with their comments and told me it was a great talk. If they're lying, I'll never know. And I was only teary eyed a couple times. Maybe three. Success.

Three of my favorite quotes I found preparing-

'There is something in each day that can bring us gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it. Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts.' ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

'I promise you that you will one day stand aside and look at your difficult times, and you will realize that He was always there beside you.' ~Thomas S. Monson

'Wherever we are in life, there are times when all of us have challenges and struggles. Although they are different for each, they are common to all.' ~Thomas S. Monson

Aren't these great? One thing I've learned the past 2 years is that many of us (all of us?) can relate to grief and disappointment on all sorts of levels. A good friend of mine lost her 3.5 month old baby girl last October. We've had some great talks on overcoming trials and recognizing the Lord's hand in our lives. Even though I've never lost a baby and she has never been through a divorce, we understand each other. The circumstances that brought us down those road are very different but we speak the same language. It is still a battle for me to not give in to those 'unfair' feelings. I have to work to remember the hard days help define the good days in more ways than one. For certain, I know I didn't pay enough attention to the tender mercies in my life before life so drastically changed. I'm grateful that is one of the outcomes of this trial.

::: Today is the 12th anniversary of Milo's dad's death. Cannot believe 12 years can go so fast. Quite a different life now than when he died. Sigh.

::: When I can't understand what Owen is saying, I'll ask him if he wants this or that to try and figure out what he wants. When I get it right he is so happy and has the same answer every time. He smiles big and excitedly says, 'Yeah!' I love it.

::: I bought pictures for Christmas cards. I even bought cards. And stamps yet I haven't sent a single one. I didn't want to give up on that tradition but I don't have plans to send New Year's or Easter cards either. Maybe next year. Until then, stop by anytime. I have 25 pictures to hand out.

::: There was more but we're low on after school snacks so I think I'll surprise the kids with cookies.