Thirty Nine Things

1- Long, long post ahead that could have been longer (Please- skim, skim, skim). This has been my longest blogging hiatus in nearly eight years. I almost didn't come back. I wasn't sure I wanted to keep posting on this blog which turned into not wanting to post anymore at all. It's slowly been building
I'm still here living a good, sometimes hard life and decided, for now, that's I'd keep posting here.

2- Today I turned 39. How did that happen so fast? This birthday feels like an insignificant year before 'the big one'. Like when you turned 15 and knew you'd still have another 365 days before you were able to be living the life of a 16 year old. That's how 39 feels. Only 24 years later.

3- I bought a new van a few months ago. I have saved money for years with the intent to use it for a van. Actually spending it was harder and more stressful that I predicted it would be. I hope to not buy another van for a long, long time. Huge thanks to my brother for putting up with me that day. I wanted to runaway and cry at least a few times during the process. It was a big step for me as a single person. When we left the dealership, I broke down and gave it a good cry. I had driven my old van for over 11 years. So many memories were tied to it and I was sad to let it go. I felt like I had a loaner van for months but I think we're good now.

4- My signature key chain broke. Those Tupperware people really mean business because that key chain lasted over 16 years.

5- I hit up another year of Cub Scout day camp with Dane. It was the best year yet. I can't decide if it's because the boys are older and less whiny/needy or if it was because subconsciously I knew it was my last cub camp for a couple years. Probably both.

 6- Nathan went to his first week long scout camp. They were gone Sunday to Saturday. He had the best time but came home exhausted and completely filthy. We missed him like crazy but man did he smell when he cam home. I think it took him three showers to get clean and smell normal.

 7- A BYU football player was (is, I'm not sure) serving a mission here this summer. They put on a youth football clinic one Saturday with the invitation to bring your friends. Nathan was still at scout camp so Dane was hesitant to go without him. I didn't exactly force him to go but strongly encouraged him to push a little outside of his comfort zone. He was SO happy he went. They talked about being good examples and staying strong on and off the field. It was a great morning for Dane playing football in a field right next to the temple.

8- We went to Silverwood again this summer. This year we didn't lose our free tickets the morning we left so it was a MUCH better experience from the minute we walked through the gate (no tears). Reed was a daredevil this year rode most of the rollercoasters including the free fall ride, Panic Plunge. The ride drops from 150 feet up in the air, yikes. It was both hilarious and terrifying to watch. He said he liked it but no thank you, he didn't want to go again.

9- I love this photo of these guys. Smiling real smiles and getting along. Makes a mom happy.

 10. The kids picked and sol cherries again this year and had another successful crop. My aunt and uncle are super sweet to let us come and pick from their orchard. I suggested not going this year and that was met with a big fat no. Looks like we'll keep on picking.

11- I bought the 'loveliest' watermelon this summer. Not only was it cute but it tasted good too.

12- I took one kid with me on different errands as much as I could this summer. They loved anticipating their turn and what we would do while we were out getting groceries, running to the bank or some other mundane task. Nathan is the only one that could tackle real Mexican tacos from a taco truck with me and he was more than willing to tag along for a lunch date. On Wednesdays tacos are only $1 so it was a cheap lunch date to boot. We both felt way too full after three small tacos but they were delicious!

 13- I finished the Pathways program at the end of July. My class knew I was going to bug them about taking a photo together, I was so happy they'd oblige. These people helped change my life over the course of ten months. That might sound dramatic but they really did and I love them for it. Ten months equaled three semesters, six different classes, 42 Thursday night meetings (I missed four) away from the kids and countless hours of homework. Some weeks were easier than others but we never gave up. I'm so thankful for my five energetic cheerleaders.

14- We took a short trip to Idaho one weekend to see Richard and Jeni and their four kids. Three adults and nine kids makes for quite the adventure. These two are some of the most loving people you will ever meet. You know your friend has a long back when four kids are sitting on it with room for one more!

 15- I loved spending time with them (especially Jeni) and was sad the time flew by while we were there. We rode go-karts, went swimming and to a splash park, we talked and laughed and cried. It was a perfect visit.

 16- Owen was killing us with the eyes from his Happy Meal box.

17- Reed swam in our pool one hot summer day. You might look at this and think my kids are deprived but I'm here to tell you this was more fun than they'd had in weeks. And that included swimming in a real pool.

 18- Nathan begged to buy a 'real Coke' when he found one with his name on it. Genius marketing Coke, good job!

19- Kat went to girl's camp and humored me with this photo right before she ran away from the van.

 20- I heard the Seahawks defensive coordinator speak at a singles conference I went to with a couple friends. I asked him if he wore his Superbowl ring very often. Next thing I know, he took it off and dropped in it my hand. Obviously, I was very surprised to be holding a 20k ring.

 21- We're getting pretty good at the family selfie in the van. Here we are heading to my family reunion at Ensign Ranch. My oldest cousin started the ball rolling last winter when my grandma turned 90 and hoped for a big family reunion to celebrate. We had not gotten together as a group since my grandpa died 18 years ago. I was looking forward to this all summer. I LOVE my cousins.

 22- What a fun few days it turned out to be, a definite highlight of my summer! My grandma stayed in a hotel close by, all of my aunts and uncles were there except my Uncle Paul, 21 of my 26 cousins were there (many of them with their spouses) and around 58 great grandkids were there as well. We flooded the ranch with 107 family members. It was awesome. These are my people and I love them so much. It was fun to see my kids play with my cousins kids. They played and played the entire time we were there. The slip and slide, canoeing, horse back rides, rope swing, hikes and football. It was exhausting, good times but really, isn't that the best kind of exhausting out there?

 23- I took Owen's binki away after we made it through the reunion. He flushed one down the toilet and sent it to Nemo since all drains lead to the ocean. It hasn't been too bad. A rough patch here and there trying to figure out other ways to soothe himself back to sleep. The 10 day stretch of waking up around 5:30am was killer on both of us. I finally reached a breaking point one night when I was in bed by 8:30. Without knowing it, he was literally one morning away from getting the dang thing back. And then he slept until 7:30. He doesn't even know how good he almost had it.

 24- My mom bought these balloons for the reunion but we convinced her to keep them hidden with 58 kids around. A few days later, she brought them to my house (I shot her a glare or two, I am not a fan of balloons). Kat is quite the balloon artist. She can make a lion, a pumpkin, a turtle and 'double edged swords'. Isn't Owen's helmet hilarious?

 25- We have almost made it through a year of 8:30 church. Some Sundays move quickly while others seem to drag on for days. One Sunday, even though it was 102 outside, we took a drive to see the town filled with dinosaurs. It was good sweaty fun and bedtime when we got back home. I called success on making it through another long Sunday.

 26- Reed took swimming lessons and really took off. Finally, I don't have to feel like he'll bring the guy next to him down when we're at the pool. He lived for going off the slide at the end of each lesson.

 27- My nephew was married in the Las Vegas temple this summer. My mom and I flew down for a few days. I'm so glad we could be there. The sealer gave great advice and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to crying through the whole thing. The temple is gorgeous and one of my favorites.

28- I was more than ready to leave Vegas after the wedding was over. I couldn't wait to get home. We enjoyed In-N-Out just before we left town so I brought hats home for the kids. Cute little dimpled workers.

Kat loved that wet dog.

29- A summer highlight for the kids was swimming in a farmer's pond in the country with cousins. This isn't your ordinary, yucky farm pond. It's full on pond paradise. They rode paddle boats, a stand up paddle board, rope swing, diving board and more. They were sad to leave earlier than planned when we saw a nasty storm roll in across the sky. For days they begged to go back. It's going to top the next year's summer bucket list for sure.

30- We had one last hurrah with friends at the aquatic center and we found our cousins there too. That was super fun. I could bribe these guys out of the water with cookies and juice so they would take a five minute break. No dice with the other ones. They love swimming with friends!

31- School shopping with Nate pretending to be Napoleon Dynamite. It was funny the first two times. After that though, Kat and I found him to be a little embarrassing, ha. He was quite full of it that day. Here he is waiting for his sports physical. He told me that was probably the last time he could fold himself in half because it hurt too much. Haha. I could not stop laughing. I'm certain I was annoying the nursing staff in the hall because it was all out belly laughing. Pretzel boy is growing up.

32- This little clown keeps us laughing on a daily basis. He rarely calls me mommy now. Instead he yells, 'Mom!' about 30 times a day and sounds just like the other kids. I told them to start calling me mommy again so he would too but they wont comply. Looks like another one will grow up too fast.

33- Another year of our letter pancake tradition. This started by accident but has continued on for years. The letter O clearly needs help. Seems easy enough but it's the letter with the least practice. It will come.

34- This year it's 8th, 7th, 5th and 1st grade. This is Kathryn's last year of middle school and Dane's last year of elementary school. It's hard to believe how close we're getting to them graduating and moving on. Time just flies.

35- We went camping with our friends again this year. I have tons of pictures I could share from our two days there such as- Nathan in a watermelon eating contest, Dane catching a huge fuzzy caterpillar, Kat shooting a bow or throwing a tomahawk, Reed making a new friend every where he went, Owen on his favorite hay ride or me completely soaked from the rain with no umbrella but this post is already 30 things too long. These rock climbing shots of Owen are a couple of my favorite. We were all going to give the wall a try this year. Owen watched all of us get into a harness and he begged for his turn. They had a tiny harness and helmet and said he could have a turn. It was adorable. He was fine for a few minutes but after the second hoist, he turned to tears. I only made it about 10 feet off the ground and decided I wasn't too keen on it either.

 36- By dinner, the rain was unbearable. Lindsay and I looked at each other and decided we'd drive 15 minutes to McDonald's instead of deal with eating dinner in the rain. Neither of us regretted that choice though the other customers might have wished we stayed at camp. I was feeling pretty defeated at this point and seriously considered throwing every soaking wet thing into the van and heading for home. We decided to power through and thankfully, many prayers were answered and the rain stopped. I'm grateful we stayed and finished out the weekend. 

37- August 13th marked one year post divorce. I don't want to recognize this date every year but this year it felt significant. We made it through the first birthday alley (which proved to be quite difficult), every holiday, and all the other important and insignificant days that make up an entire year. I've thought about divorce and loss a lot the past couple months (a post a few times over in my head). My divorce did not happen for a reason. Nor did it happen because this is how my Heavenly Father wanted to teach me to grow closer to Him. No, my divorce happened because we live in a fallen, mortal world in which grief and pain and sin sometimes play a starring role. The Lord designed our stage but not our scenes and actions. We are in charge of those. He didn't plan for terrible things to happen, He simply knew they would because of our mortal weaknesses. That is why He provided us with a plan and a Savior so we could make it back to Him. I'm so grateful to know He is aware of me. I know He knows my joys and my pains. I recognize His blessings are all around me even on my hardest days. Five of those blessings depend on me and give me more purpose than anything else. My family and friends are some of the most supportive people you'll ever meet. I'm grateful for them, too!

38- I'm not sharing pictures here but we ended our summer with quite the string of sicknesses. Both Reed and Dane fought high fevers for five days. And not at the same time of course, those illnesses were stretched out for 10 days. Kat had pink eye and a sore throat. I ended up with a nasty, nasty (yes double nasty!) eye infection. I felt SO disgusting with my swollen, red, weepy, itchy eye. Did I paint a terrible picture there? It was awful. I was ready to life live with one eye. In the middle of my eye mess, we found out poor Kat was cursed with shingles. She was in so much pain. It was three weeks of non stop sickness and I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I went to pick up medicine from a friend and burst into tears on their porch. Yowza. I was so grateful when I felt I could safely yell, 'Health Restored!'

 

39- Looking back on 38, I can see the growth and progress I made this year compared to the year before. Much of it has been in small, baby steps but I can feel myself inching forward. I know participating in Pathways helped me see what I am capable of accomplishing one small step at a time.  Pathways even taught me how to overcome those times I stumble and take steps backwards. I am not dreading this coming year as I move closer to 40. Instead, I'm looking forward to what this last year in my 30's will be like. Bring it, 39.